An Ode to College

College students are truly a rare breed. Week after week we put ourselves through the gauntlet of flip-cup tournaments, keg stands, ice luges, and power hours only to pass out briefly and wake up at obscene hours of the morning to re-fuel our still-intoxicated bodies with a few more beers all in the name of tailgate. We also lack any legitimate sense of time. We "pre-drink" until eleven. 12:40 classes are "early." We know 2:00 a.m. as "last call" because we have been going to the bars since we were 17 with fake I.D.s. There is a day of the week referred to as "Boozeday." We college kids undoubtedly have a subculture unto ourselves. Some people play basketball, we play beer pong. Some people wait all year for Christmas or Thanksgiving, we wait all year for St. Patty’s Day, New Years Eve, and Superbowl Sunday. Some drink orange juice for breakfast, we throw back a Busch Light because we hear its a good cure for that hangover. We can turn anything into a drinking game. We live in our own world, a world where jungle juice seems like a good idea, being awake at 4 a.m. is normal, “wanna do a body shot” is a sufficient pick-up line, and 21st birthdays are an entity unto themselves. We have become aware that alchohol makes us say, do, and wear things that would, in a sober state, be out of the question. Watching our friend make out with a stranger in front of cheering spectators is raw comedy, kegerators become the greatest invention the world has ever seen, and we "discover" things that seem utterly amazing…like malt liquor...and Beerios... We nickname beers. If we're at the bar and we ask for a "Reeb" or a "Natty," the bartender knows what we're talking about because he's probably in college too. We have drunken alter-egos and we name them. A few shots down the hatch and we suddenly turn into "Rico Suave" the tequila-chugging wonder...We are experts at Kings, never running out of tricky categories or a clever rule. We draw on the faces of passed out friends, we know that empty fifths make great decorations in our apartments (also note: empty kegs can be sweet coffee tables), and we have done a "shotski". We make friends while we are drunk and we assign them an adjective that will forever precede their name in order to distinguish them from the rest of the "friends" we make while drunk (also because we do not know their last names.) "Sloppy Tom," "Chicago Sarah," and "Creepy Steve" will always be near and dear to our hearts. We have no money because we spent it all on beer. This, unfortunately, is also why we drink Povov and Mickeys, and trust us, that takes heart. It grows on us after awhile...or after we've taken too many shots to remember that what we're drinking tastes like gasoline. The lack of money situation is also why if we see someone sipping a Corona, they are a baller, and we will make friends with them. After a long night of bonging beers at a house party, bravely resisting the urge to drunk dial (and/or drunk IM) all of our ex-boyfriends, then going shot-for-shot with a frat boy at the bar, we wake up hugging an empty box of wine in our underwear on our best friend's kitchen floor with a million questions running through our pounding heads. We wake up with random incoherent numbers in our cell phones ("Who the hell is 'grEenshirtb4oy'?"), random pictures on our cameras ("Look, here’s one of so-and-so humping that Corona guy on the dance floor..."), a mere 73 cents left in our wallets ("I didn't know Hold 'em was a drinking game?"), and a desperate desire to lay in bed for the rest of our lives...it is then that we swear off drinking forever...for real....we really mean it this time.... Yet, after shotgunning a brewski or two and kickin back with a 40, we head to the shower, beer in hand, and get ready to begin our evening once again. It takes balls, simply put. We know how to party. We have honed and perfected our art. We are lushes, bar stars, and boozehounds. Why do we act this way you ask? Because we can. Because in 4 short, blurry years we will have to enter the “real world”. So for the time being we will live it up…As long as there are beers to be drank and shots to be taken, we will be there...as long as there are case races to be won and frat houses to pass out in, we will be there...as long as there are tables to be danced on and annoying eighties songs to sing loudly along to, WE WILL BE THERE!...but we're not gonna lie, we probably won't remember it.

One More Reason To Stand Up For Life

This is one of the craziest stories I've read in a long time, a mother tried to abort her child 3 times and the baby still lived! You've got to read this article! So my question is, why is this story not making national news? One more reason to be ashamed of the "diversified and fair" coverage of the general news media.

You Found WHAT In Your Drink????

This is definitely not what I'd expect to find in a a bottle of fruit punch!

Lightyear VoIP

Smash the Tones

I think I've found one of the coolest websites on the net. While browsing my friend Dave's site, Honestdave.com, I came across a link to a blog that told about this awesome new service called Smash the Tones. It's a new service that converts music you have from your computer and sends it directly to your mobile phone. Paying money for ring tones and phone graphics should go the way of the dinosaur. They accept MP3's, WAV's, and a few other file types. They support every (US) phone carrier and it's all free! Sometimes you have to wait a few minutes to have the tone delivered, but for a small donation of $1.25 they move you to the front of the line.
The guy who's site this is, Ben Guild, has a pretty interesting blog as well, lots of cool computer and electronic info and the like. He mentions about how to get a free ipod from gratis Internet in one of his posts, well, I researched the whole dealie, and it's supposed to be completely legit, you actually can get a free ipod! Read the whole article here. If anyone is interested in giving it a try, (and helping me get mine is well) then click here to sign up.

25,000,000 downloads!

They've done it! Firefox, the free web browser without spyware, adware, trojons, or pop-ups, has finally reached 25,000,000 downloads, exactly 99 days after it was released. If you've never used Firefox before, then now is the time to give it a try.

Smoking

So I just read on The Economist.com that Cuba has banned smoking in public places. Initial reports said that Cubans continue to puff away regardless. I wonder what these nice young ladies will do if the law is actually enforced?

Apparently Europe is passing the same type legislation as well, here's an article from the Economist about Milan.

Milan's 250,000 smokers seem reconciled with a new nation-wide ban on smoking in public spaces, which went into effect on January 10th. They now dutifully tramp outside to shiver as they puff. Italy now joins Norway and Ireland in imposing no-smoking measures for all bars, restaurants and offices. Smoking is now allowed only in private homes, special ventilated smoking rooms and outside. The fine for illicit smoking is 275 euros, double if committed near a pregnant woman or a child. Restaurant and bar managers also face fines if they do not enforce the law. Milan's hospital San Paolo has unveiled plans for a new service to help smokers kick the habit.

Meanwhile, some of Italy's roughly 13 million smokers are fuming. A new association, Io Fumo (I Smoke), is seeking a referendum to appeal the law, which it decries as a threat to civil liberties. Some bar and restaurant owners say the new law may hurt business, but this has not materialised in other cities, such as New York, which have enacted similar bans.

The Pictures The Media doesn't Want You To See

With all the negative publicity the corrupt media keeps throwing at us about the war in Iraq, its nice to see that what our troops are doing over there is actually appreciated by the Iraqis, and that we are making a positive contribution and not just destroying their culture as we've been so led to believe. Over the weekend a friend sent me these great pictures, I think they sum up nicely what we'd all like to believe should be happening over there but we're never told about.

A Son's Letter To His Father...

As I was blog surfing I ran across this funny story, it's from a really cool Canadian blog called dust my broom. Check it out, lots of conservetive, Canadian political insights.


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed to "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Blogs In General

Are blogs not the most fascinating pieces of information on the Internet right? Everyday in the news you see and hear more and more people talking about web logs and how they are changing the way people get their information about every subject imaginable, from the war in Iraq to instructions on programing your VCR. The blog community at large is probably the fastest growing online community. Of course the problem with all this new information that is being spread throughout the blogsphere is tracking down the right information that you may be searching for. Well, there is a website designed specifically for searching through the vast array of blogs. This website is called Technorati. I first found out about this sweet little blog search engine while reading Forbes Magazine last month. Since then, whenever I'm trying to find something online, not only do I automatically punch in Google or Ice Rocket, but I now have a more efficient way to search through the ever growing throngs of information among the vast assortment of blogs that previously was not readily available through the more conventional search engines. Of course while on the subject of blogs we all have to talk about our favorites, the one or two that we just keep going back to because there is always something new or interesting that always captivates our attention. I would have to say that for me that one blog would be blog maverick, written my Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, star of the TV show The Benefactor, and the founder of HDNet amongst other things. This is one that I find myself surfing to at least once a week because there is always something interesting to read, whether Mark is commenting on how the team is doing, the business and technological environment, politics, or just life in general. I would definitely recommend checking out his site, I don't think you'll leave disappointed.