Understanding Tax Refunds

50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A refund was then due. The team was about to mail refunds when a congressional committee stopped them and suggested that they send out the ticket refunds based upon the congressional interpretation of fairness.

Originally the refunds were to be paid based on the price each person had paid for the tickets. Unfortunately that meant most of the refund money would be going to the ticket holders that had purchased the most expensive tickets. This, according to the committee, is considered totally unfair.

A decision was then made to pay out the refunds in the following manner:

-People in the $10 seats will get back $15. After all, they have less money to spend on tickets to begin with. Call it an "Earned Income Ticket Credit." People "earn" it by having few skills, poor work habits, and low ambition, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.

-People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because it "seems fair."

-People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don't need a refund. After all, if they can afford a $50 ticket, they must not be paying enough taxes.

-People in the $75 luxury box seats will each have to pay an additional $25 because it's the "right thing to do."

-People walking past the stadium that couldn't afford to buy a ticket for the game each will get a $10 refund, even though they didn't pay anything for the tickets. They need the most help. Sometimes this is known as Affirmative Action.

Now do you understand? If not, contact your congressional representative for further clarification.